Don't you just hate it when people drive up to you when you've stopped at a red light, ask you for directions and you don't know what the hell they're talking about?
You see people ask me for directions ALL the time when im out driving. And I mean ALL the frikken time. I dunno is it the way I look or something? Do I exude some kinda superficial charm that I'm unaware of? Is there some kinda sign that makes people think "oh gee you know what I think i'll ask him, he looks like he knows everthing" ?? WTF man
Anyways this was back when I just got my driver's license after spending 2 weeks in that shitty excuse of a driving school (and people wonder why saudis can't drive). So its a hot summer night and I'm ready to go out somewhere. I stop at a red light and lo and behold a white landcrusier driven by some saudi in his 40's (as usual) pulls up next to me. He pulled down his window and motions to me. So being the good natured idiot that I am I pulled down my window to hear what he had to say. This is what ensued:
Him: Hala ya shabab. T3aref wen Abqaiq?
Now this was before I even knew any of the other cities in shargeya besides dhahran, khobar and dammam. I can't say "maafi maloom" again because I already tried that and I'm not afghani. So while trying to think of something to say I see across the road a bakery with the name "Bayt al Cake" in arabic. I dunno what happened but all of sudden I made this instant connection with "abqaiq" and "bayt al cake". So thinking I'm a genius I say with a smile on my face:
Me: Cake? Aha! Shoof cake hinak (pointing to the bakery)
The guy stares at the bakery for a minute and then looks back at me as if I was the strangest looking creature he had ever seen.
Him: Aghollak wen abqaiq. Ma t3aref?
Me: *shrugs* uhh la2.
Him: Tab gol hada! Ish feek? *drives off in a huff*
Of course now that I know lots of arabic if anyone asks me wheres abqaiq is I'll just say "Up your ass thats where you mofo! Ask somebody else!".