Friday, August 01, 2008

Arabic blunder # 3

Don't you just hate it when people drive up to you when you've stopped at a red light, ask you for directions and you don't know what the hell they're talking about?
You see people ask me for directions ALL the time when im out driving. And I mean ALL the frikken time. I dunno is it the way I look or something? Do I exude some kinda superficial charm that I'm unaware of? Is there some kinda sign that makes people think "oh gee you know what I think i'll ask him, he looks like he knows everthing" ?? WTF man

Anyways this was back when I just got my driver's license after spending 2 weeks in that shitty excuse of a driving school (and people wonder why saudis can't drive). So its a hot summer night and I'm ready to go out somewhere. I stop at a red light and lo and behold a white landcrusier driven by some saudi in his 40's (as usual) pulls up next to me. He pulled down his window and motions to me. So being the good natured idiot that I am I pulled down my window to hear what he had to say. This is what ensued:

Him: Hala ya shabab. T3aref wen Abqaiq?

Now this was before I even knew any of the other cities in shargeya besides dhahran, khobar and dammam. I can't say "maafi maloom" again because I already tried that and I'm not afghani. So while trying to think of something to say I see across the road a bakery with the name "Bayt al Cake" in arabic. I dunno what happened but all of sudden I made this instant connection with "abqaiq" and "bayt al cake". So thinking I'm a genius I say with a smile on my face:

Me: Cake? Aha! Shoof cake hinak (pointing to the bakery)

The guy stares at the bakery for a minute and then looks back at me as if I was the strangest looking creature he had ever seen.

Him: Aghollak wen abqaiq. Ma t3aref?

Me: *shrugs* uhh la2.

Him: Tab gol hada! Ish feek? *drives off in a huff*

Of course now that I know lots of arabic if anyone asks me wheres abqaiq is I'll just say "Up your ass thats where you mofo! Ask somebody else!".



Anonymous said...

LOL thanks for entertaining me in the wee hours of the morning :D

Duncan said...

...dats' d best thing to do...cheers!

SwaRwaR said...

LOL okay I think u know the directions of my home well :P

Canc3riaN said...

wow... anger!! anger!!

Well I don't blame you! They can really be annoying..

you know what's more annoying? A guy stopping you pretending that he's the most innocent creature on earth and plays the "lost kid in town"



numbing charade said...

you should stop trying to help Saudis really.

SouS said...

haha, id love to hear you speak arabic.. but as i said before.. i have seen AND DONE worse:P

eshda3wa said...


i have no sence of direction what so ever
next time im lost

ill make sure never to ask u!

Stylish-Girl said...

hala hala b ra7eel


well it aint the bad..
ease it up showeya
now u know better :)
in their faces!

listen man,
dont help saudis in white cars!:P
white cars are mostly chosen by..
(oh my, i dunnwanna say the B word)
b3deen ygoloo 3leeya 3on9oriya

dont help em! say u dont know!
dont put ur window down!!, pretend like u dont see em! lol
look 2 ur side, throw them an angry look "f---, ya want yo?! piss off" & then look ahead 2 the street again "i am not seeing you"!
kiddin. dont take my advices:P

Laly said...

I don’t know were this city a9ln.
I know its in the Eastern region but not sure where.

Note to self: Never ask Ren Crow for directions :P

Rimyoleta said...

that was funny Ren :)
So let me get this straight!
your not Saudi but you look like one so everyone is asking you about directions!
Why is that?!

Anonymous said...

Hahaha... 7ilwa...

ren_crow said...

It was my pleasure senorita *bows*

Eh I suppose so. Right back at ya me scurvy scalleywag!

Huh? uhh what are you talking I don't *looks around nervously*

Sheesh how annoying. I would never try an antic like that. So anyways since you're here would you like my email or what? :p

numbing charade
Thats exactly what I tell myself everyday. Alas my heart is far too big.

I speak arabic like a bedouin. You really need to tell me one of your stories some day.

*in jack sparrow voice* No problem me lassie. The next time you get lost I'll just consult my navigational if I can only get it to point north. Oh hmm and the rums all gone.

White cars are mostly driven by who?

And if you're lucky you'll never have to know.

I don't know it must be something in the coffee. And yes apparently to most saudis I look like I just stepped off the plane from lebanon or syria. Maybe the lebanese and the syrians are famed for their navigational skills? who knows..

Thanks. And btw cute name.

Anonymous said...

LOL.. Is it really annoying being asked about directions? Think about how the person will always remember you as their guiding torch :p
I always make the driver ask random people about places I want to go, since I could get lost in our own house.. So once I was looking for AlRajhi bank and I made him memorize the phrase "Rajhi bank hareem" and ask every single man we pass, it was really funny cause no one would understand what he wanted to say, and eventually they'd speak to me directly. Okay must stop talking. Post more arabic blunders :p

manutdfanatic said...

Ha. Ha.

Stylish-Girl said...

bedouin :P


Stylish-Girl said...

you do realize i have very weird theories in life :P

ren_crow said...

Interesting predicament. Your wish is my command!


yea i pretty much figured that out :p

A Global Citizen said...

LoL .. Abqaia=bayt el cake !!!!

I don't blame you, they do somehow sound alike.


Anonymous said...

haha so funny
bayt el cake... so funny