Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Getting married.

As I sink my teeth into the helpless BK Big King XXL burger, a multitude of thoughts race through my head. Even though this double patty burger with lettuce, cheese, and some odd named sauce in a sesame sead bun may look scrumptious to the naked eye, it is in fact greasy, loaded with calories, and might probably clog my arteries (along with contributing to my ever expanding waist-line which I gained over the summer).
So why exactly am I eating this? It is after all the prime example of junk food, which in my opinion is the lowest form of foodstuff available. I could have just went and eaten a much healthier and less expensive shawerma meal. The reason being, to put it simply as in the words of a certain good-guy turned traitor in the movie The Matrix: "Ignorance is bliss".

Sooo..........what does all this have to do with getting married?

Absolutely nothing. I just felt like talking about burgers for some reason. Anyways....

Marraige has always been a somewhat humorous topic for me. Its not the apparent mishaps between a married couple that strikes me as funny as does the attitude most young people I know have about getting married. How many times have I seen or heard about young men and women (including your average high schooler) getting all misty-eyed over finding their true love and living the romantic life that they've always dreamed of just like in those amazing arabic music videos. Of course things don't always turn out the way they're expected to.

I've personally always taken the concept of love and marraige with a grain of salt. In fact I don't even believe in the concept of true love. This eventually leads to me laughing at the people who do. I suppose thats my nihilistic side speaking out.
You see what I think is that people tend to fall in love with the idea of falling in love rather than actually falling in love. And when they do fall in love with someone, all they're doing is just being satisfied with the "compatibility" that this particular person has with their own life. The only other reason I can think of is Lust.

This attitude of mine doesnt mix too well with my mother who for the past year has been nagging me nonstop, much to my chagrin, about getting me married off. Yea mothers bug guys about this stuff too. I guess I havent made it clear enough that I have no interest in doing anything of that sort. Not for a long time anyways.

I haven't started yet. So....like....uhh yea. lol hmm


izzy™ said...

i dont get it.. so are u getting married or not :P?
i dont believe in LOVE either.. im just in-love with the whole idea, like u just said. and about "FINDING" true love, like seriously, whatever, like what r the chances of him popping out of nowhere and magically appearing in my life.. this is why i have decided to be my only true love and simply find a PARTNER to share my life with who is good company, fun & interesting enough to not get me bored. honestly, thats my whole theory at the moment. cuz if we spend all our lives SEARCHING and OBSESSING (esp us girls i mean) for THE ONE, the TRUE love, the WHATEVER minjid like..whatever. thats a load of bullcrap. we live in K.s. of A..not in hawaii..and im sure girls in Hawaii are probably suntanning under some bamboo tree wondering the same thing too, so if THEY cant find their one and only love, mashalla WHAT R THE CHANCES of me finding the ONE person, the guy of my dreams, out of all those endless nameless faceless freaks out there :P could i REALLY be that lucky :P? i mean, seriously :P
love complicates everything anyways. i prefer a good friendship, good friendship lasts. seriously wallah im not kidding. im currently falling in-love with me. everything i ever wanted to find in a guy that i thought would make me happy, i have decided to find within myself. so if i ever find a suitable person who is worthy enough to share my life with, he will merely be smthn to add on to the already awesome life i already have with me :D just the advantage of sharing it with someone and experiencing things together, holding hands. thats all i really want. just someone to wake up to and smile to each morning. someone KEWL enough to be with me :P but the TRUE love is all crap. cuz really, what IS true love? and there really isnt just ONE SINGLE person that can make u happy..its just a matter of how things go...sometimes u find the real love or whatever and it just doesnt work.. does this mean he wasnt the one? maybe it was just wrong timing.. this theory is very complicated..newayz.. khalas.. i wanna go back to watching House :P i cant believe u tricked me into talking about this issue again, i promised myself i would never talk about this love crap again..

or maybe im just scarred and damaged :P lol.. omg im becoming obsessive and depressive from spending too much time on this blog :P


laterz ren :)

Broke Saudi said...

Have you ever been in a relationship before?

sadia said...

after falling in love twice in rapid succession twice, with a month or so (when i was 16) i don't believe in love either.

but marriage, i want.

i agree with izzy totally!

Patrick Semaan said...

Getting married was the best decision I ever took in my life, its the sweetest thing, really. Love exists, its just that its too complex to understand and live, back when you are 16 (teen ager in general).

ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

i dont believe in love, bu i believe in companionship and compatibility...and i believe that high compatibility with pleasant companionship makes life easy and comfortable, which most people interpret as love.

i get the same feeling when eating chocolate =D

brokenwing.urjwans.com said...

oh dear god! I love burgers but sadly I haven't had any in the last 5 months or so (wow it's been that long :\ ). In fact, i remember back in my i-don't-give-a-rats-behind-about-health stage, i used to eat at a place called Fat Burger! oh god! the epitome of delicious food =)

anyways, I'm going off on tangents.

I absolutely agree about your perspective! love belongs in a fairytale and Hollywood love stories. Happily ever after is a myth because its not always smooth sailing romance: you have to go to work, pay the bills, meet the needs of kids before your own, and the occasional fights that everyone has.

For a marriage to actually work you need two major things: Friendship and commitment. Lots and lots of commitment. Love can be part of that, but love doesn't last.
When the excitement wares off, what do you have left? Exactly =) that's why it always comes back to the two major components.

Great post! couldn't have said it better myself =)

Broken Wing

izzy™ said...

lol@dandoon :P i get the same feeling from watching House :P?

Amjad said...

Well that's certainly an interesting view. Evolutionary psychologists would welcome you into their midst with arms wide open.

Although I agree about there existing a lust component in the desire for a relationship, I don't think it can simply boil down to that. Otherwise people would spend their entire relationship time fornicating. And guys/girls would be satisfied with hooking up with a hot chick/dude they share nothing in common with, which is not the case to the best of my knowledge.

I don't think there's anything wrong with the idea of falling in love. I would call it a longing for a type of intimate connection that can't be provided by family and friends (e.g., feeling lonely when your completely surrounded by people who care). And it's this longing that leads you to search for someone to fill the void. I wouldn't brush it off as settling for someone your compatible with, because you can have friends (whom you're supposedly compatible with) of the opposite sex without wanting to get involved. But I do hold that a certain level of compatibility might be necessary to maintain a long-lived relationship.

I would probably pin-point love as the thing in a relationship that holds a couple together once all the initial hype & excitement (including lust) has calmed down (once you exclude factors like children, tax reductions, and other driving motives). You might say it's just convenient for them to stay together, but I think it's more than that because sacrifices need to be made in a relationship. If something more important (love probably) isn't at stake, it would just be easier to call it quits and live without sacrifices.

Anonymous said...

I've been in love, ren,but hey, I still believe in it. And you don't have to find it too. Marriage to me has to have some love in it, because it involves a great deal of acceptance from each of the partners. After all, who hasn't experienced accepting another's flaws because of love?

I agree with amjad, because if it weren't for love, many long staying couples wouldn't have made it for so long. And the world would be full of broken homes and confused children who grow up to be confused adults.

Another proof- I'm getting married next year inshaallah, and the decision was wholly his and mine. It's love that got us to it, mind you. He also happens to be on blogger.com too.

SKITTLES said...

1. things NEVER turn out they way you expect them to.

2. Love is there.. somewhere..
I'm a girl, so i have to believe in love. at least to believe in the "idea" of it.

3. stop slacking off, and start renovating damn it!

Tazeen said...

yeah everyone who has either not been in love or unlucky in love says this but falling in love is perhaps the best thing that can happen to you, don't undermine it people...

Faten said...

offff man I'm already carving burger king :S don't let me start nagging about it, I'm trying to quit!

I don't see ppl falling in love :/
the idea of love in ksa is weird :P.. you took the words right out of my mouth, ppl love the idea of falling in love,I know I do..but I also believe in partnership, in companionship..
plus I don't understand the sacrifice & all the troubles that come with loving a total starnger..why bother love someone when you KNOW there is a hard chance in the future..I just don't get it..
I say you wait before marrige , you are too young to get married "in my opinion" :D

Spur said...

i believe love comes after marriage

good luck

Anonymous said...

well i think if you are ready to commit for last long relationship then go for it if not then don't even bother your self and think about it :) sounds like am ur granny :P


Hottie said...

I do believe in true love, but I stil believe that people are in love with the idea of falling in love (and that could end badly). My mom never pushed marriage on me, which is good. (she's perfect).
Izzy: shut up, don't make it sound like no one will find the love of their lives. (girls in hawaii are old, many retired people live their) Does this mean u don't love me :(

I love fat burger!!!!!!!! Best burgers ever!!

ren_crow said...

why am i not surprised that this comment is like almost as long as my original post?:p
and no im not getting married.

broke saudi
lets not be a jackass now.

16 is such a ditzy time isnt it?

pat semaan
I dont think its just teens who are scratching their heads over this. Well I'm very glad for you.

I suppose you dont get the same feeling when you go to starbucks :p

Fat burger? well at least they got the balls to admit it openly. You could be right. Commitment has always been sort of a problem for people.

khallas ya beejay!

Uhh but don't people actually DO spend their entire lives fornicating? Not here but in many other places.

Oh really? And just who might this blogger be?

im working on it dont push me :p

I still think its all overrated bullshit.

Too young? Well thats a first.

that kind of sucks doesnt it?

hmm yea maybe i should should start calling you jidda from now on ;P

Alright dammnit whats up with this Fat burger and where can I find it??

A Global Citizen said...

OMG, ren.. You should've written a warning ahead of this post.

*trying to calm down, & telling myself love does exist, love does exist*

Besides, what's with the burger intro anyway???

eshda3wa said...

marriage... blekh

love ... barf

ren_crow said...

I was feeling hungry that day. Hehe no I like the shock & awe technique.

my sentiments exactly

sadia said...

i think i've come a full circle.
now, i'm 25 going on 16!
wish me luck...lol

ren_crow said...

Hehe good luck!

Broke Saudi said...

I wasn't being a jackass, I was geniously curious if you've been a bad relationship. Especielly since you speak with such passion against it, there's a club fo that.